Saturday, January 9, 2016

The Balogne Bulletin

The Balogne Bulletin/09-01-16
Jan 12/2016 12:56pm: There we are, good as new. Sorry this disappeared on you for a couple hours this morning when I pasted in my new navigation system.

Today on the Balogne Bulletin, Jones chemical announces a miracle cure for drug addicts. As long as the new pill is regularly consumed, it will free its users from unpleasant withdrawal symptoms.

The War Department denies responsibility for any civilian bombing fatalities incurred by its campaigns. Their spokesman says that target populations received sufficient warning to flee their homes and set themselves adrift on a small improvised boats.

Some are shocked that a sexually explicit movie called O Mine Fuhrer! received a G-rating today. The Board explains that the film's lurid depiction of an array of sexual perversions is acceptable for family viewing because it is aimed at one of history's bloodiest tyrants.

Philosophers at a privately funded think tank to minimize the impact of human rights on corporate affairs propose a compromise. They say that if human rights exist, among them should be the right to dismiss them.

And planners fear that an explorer commissioned to locate the legendary fountain of youth may have been too young for the responsibility. His last recorded transmission gave the impression of one who has not quite yet learned to talk.

  
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© 2007, 2016. Scripts by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.

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